In all honesty, I have questioned the purpose of this blog in the past few weeks. I've been living in Hawai'i for over a year now, and I have become pretty acclimated to my new lifestyle. I've often wondered, since I'm not moving to Portland, is there anything to even talk about anymore?
Turns out, yes. There is.
I woke up at around four or five this morning. I don't know what time it was, all I know was that it was dark, windy, and humid. The palm trees outside my apartment were making an absurd amount of noise as the leaves slapped against my window. I woke up drenched in my own sweat and tears. My thoughts lately have been geared toward the peace and quite of my parents' suburban home in Orange County, California. It's weird calling it that, "my parents' home", because it really isn't my place anymore. My expensive apartment in the heart of this noisy tropical city is my humble abode now. It has been my home for this entire year. Wow. Weird.
Anyway, I don't know how long I stayed up crying, but I went back to sleep when the trucks came down my street to repave the roads. It was the sound of clashing metal and churning cement that was able to lull me to sleep.
This was not the first time I woke up in a nearly depressed state of homesickness. My dilemma is the fact that I won't even be able to take time off to go home for Christmas due to my company's holiday blackout policy. By the time employees are able to request time off again, Spring semester will be in full swing.
I don't know if I can go another year without seeing my family and friends.
Showing posts with label Whining. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Whining. Show all posts
If Tears are Strength, I'm Exhausted
I am, quite possibly, the most ungrateful person who has ever walked the face of this earth.
I was pretty upset about being called in to work all effing day, that I didn't appreciate anything that happened today. Then, a little seven-year-old girl who is the daughter of one of my customers made her dad go buy me a box of chocolates so that she could hand it to me and say, "Happy Valentine's Day!"
I put the little girl to the back of my head, and went about my day at work. It wasn't until I came home and realized that I was so busy spending the day being ungrateful, I forgot to be sweet to my boyfriend. I forgot about being how grateful that I am with such an awesome and wonderfully sweet man. I actually made him feel sad because of the way I was acting. It was then that I remembered this girl who took the time and went out of her way to be sweet to me, even though she doesn't know me at all! I just spent the last couple of hours crying to myself over my ungratefulness. I really need to keep myself in check from now on. Today was a day of me being a SUB (Straight Up Bitch). No more SUB days for me. I need to start appreciating the people in this world. Everyone. Because even people who barely know me at all, are wonderful enough to be sweet to me.
Holidays are essentially holy days. If I can't even appreciate the special days that are meant to stand out, how am I ever going to truly appreciate the normal days? How will I ever appreciate life???
There is still a little over an hour left of Valentine's Day. I'm going to finally go enjoy the dinner that my amazing boyfriend cooked for me.
I was pretty upset about being called in to work all effing day, that I didn't appreciate anything that happened today. Then, a little seven-year-old girl who is the daughter of one of my customers made her dad go buy me a box of chocolates so that she could hand it to me and say, "Happy Valentine's Day!"
I put the little girl to the back of my head, and went about my day at work. It wasn't until I came home and realized that I was so busy spending the day being ungrateful, I forgot to be sweet to my boyfriend. I forgot about being how grateful that I am with such an awesome and wonderfully sweet man. I actually made him feel sad because of the way I was acting. It was then that I remembered this girl who took the time and went out of her way to be sweet to me, even though she doesn't know me at all! I just spent the last couple of hours crying to myself over my ungratefulness. I really need to keep myself in check from now on. Today was a day of me being a SUB (Straight Up Bitch). No more SUB days for me. I need to start appreciating the people in this world. Everyone. Because even people who barely know me at all, are wonderful enough to be sweet to me.
Holidays are essentially holy days. If I can't even appreciate the special days that are meant to stand out, how am I ever going to truly appreciate the normal days? How will I ever appreciate life???
This box of Ferrero Rochers will serve as a reminder to me that unnecessary kindness in strangers can sometimes be the most crucial.
There is still a little over an hour left of Valentine's Day. I'm going to finally go enjoy the dinner that my amazing boyfriend cooked for me.
Therapy for Retail
Work was absolute chaos yesterday. I worked form open until close, plus three extra hours after closing. I've come to believe that the word "free" is a phenomenon that turns civilized human beings into raging animals. Hence, Black Friday.
I arrive at work early only to find a line of customers already lined up around the corner, waiting to pounce on the free phones. Turns out, our system crashed nationwide due to the extreme influx of people wanting to upgrade or activate. It's ok, because we had a backup system.
Which also crashed. But that's ok, because we had a back-up back-up system.
Which was backed up (har har). In short, we had to go 1940's on everyone and run every transaction manually. With the failed system and the customers yelling and blaming us sales reps for the complications, there were several of us who were near breaking down in the back. I'm usually a very patient person, but unfortunately this was all that went on in my head yesterday:
Customers of Retail,
You need to understand that sales reps are always trying to do whatever they can to assist you. If you insist on being rude and irrational, you are only delaying the process of us getting you what you want or need. Yelling doesn't help, calling us idiots doesn't help, and CONSTANTLY CRITIQUING THE SYSTEM DOES NOT HELP! I'll tell you what, the next time you think you can do a better job than the person who is trying to help you,WHY DON'T YOU PICK UP AN APPLICATION AND APPLY FOR A POSITION???
So, unless you're ready to put on your formal black slacks and dress shoes just so you can RUN around everywhere to get the customers what they want in the time they want it, you need to keep your negativity at home, and your rude thoughts to yourself. If you can't do that, then you should just stick to online shopping.
Reluctantly Yours,
An Exasperated Sales Rep
PS, If you want the most expensive smart phone that a wireless company offers, you need to fork up the money to buy it, and yes, it does come with a pricier phone bill that you do have to pay. This isn't Burger King; you can't always have it your way, and you can't just pick and choose what you want to pay for.
I clearly need to meditate more. Aside from the amount of crazy customers that I have to deal with, I still love my job. I'm super grateful to have been able to land this job, and I love the fact that I actually get to use my brain at work. Back home in Orange County, I held three mindless jobs as a receptionist at a hair salon and a tanning spa, and an event planner for high school formal dances. The first two were the worst. I did horribly at them because I struggled to be fake toward the Ruthless Housewives of Orange County. The last one was horrible, because my boss liked to throw computer monitors at me.
Are there any bad moments at your job? If so, how do you handle it?
I arrive at work early only to find a line of customers already lined up around the corner, waiting to pounce on the free phones. Turns out, our system crashed nationwide due to the extreme influx of people wanting to upgrade or activate. It's ok, because we had a backup system.
Which also crashed. But that's ok, because we had a back-up back-up system.
Which was backed up (har har). In short, we had to go 1940's on everyone and run every transaction manually. With the failed system and the customers yelling and blaming us sales reps for the complications, there were several of us who were near breaking down in the back. I'm usually a very patient person, but unfortunately this was all that went on in my head yesterday:
Customers of Retail,
You need to understand that sales reps are always trying to do whatever they can to assist you. If you insist on being rude and irrational, you are only delaying the process of us getting you what you want or need. Yelling doesn't help, calling us idiots doesn't help, and CONSTANTLY CRITIQUING THE SYSTEM DOES NOT HELP! I'll tell you what, the next time you think you can do a better job than the person who is trying to help you,WHY DON'T YOU PICK UP AN APPLICATION AND APPLY FOR A POSITION???
So, unless you're ready to put on your formal black slacks and dress shoes just so you can RUN around everywhere to get the customers what they want in the time they want it, you need to keep your negativity at home, and your rude thoughts to yourself. If you can't do that, then you should just stick to online shopping.
Reluctantly Yours,
An Exasperated Sales Rep
PS, If you want the most expensive smart phone that a wireless company offers, you need to fork up the money to buy it, and yes, it does come with a pricier phone bill that you do have to pay. This isn't Burger King; you can't always have it your way, and you can't just pick and choose what you want to pay for.
I clearly need to meditate more. Aside from the amount of crazy customers that I have to deal with, I still love my job. I'm super grateful to have been able to land this job, and I love the fact that I actually get to use my brain at work. Back home in Orange County, I held three mindless jobs as a receptionist at a hair salon and a tanning spa, and an event planner for high school formal dances. The first two were the worst. I did horribly at them because I struggled to be fake toward the Ruthless Housewives of Orange County. The last one was horrible, because my boss liked to throw computer monitors at me.
Are there any bad moments at your job? If so, how do you handle it?
LOST: My Sense of Composure (Last Seen Before the Holidays)
I've been off the radar for too long. This usually amounts to a long post of catching up, but I'm far too stressed out to lay out all the details of my holidays suffice it to say that although I miss my home, family, friends, and dog, I am very grateful that my boyfriend has been here with me to ease the homesickness. If you're still strung up on holiday cheer, I suggest you hop right past this blog and read something more suitable to your mood; my post will be filled with nothing but daunting thoughts and most likely cynicism. So here goes...
Rent: $500.00
Tuition: $500.00
Bills/Utilities: $150.00
Groceries: $300.00
Total: $1,450.00
Let's just say that, if I'm lucky, I make juuust enough to cover most of that.
No no, nonono NO! I don't want to go back to school, I don't want to pay for my expensive tuition. I just, don't WANT to! I feel a temper tantrum coming on in 5, 4, 3, 2...
...
That's enough. I'm done. I got all my crying and whining out of my system, and I'm ready to be an adult again. Honestly, it's not luck that feeds me and pays my rent every month, it's purely the hard work I put into making sure my commission check is as high as it can be. It all feels futile at times when I have to clear out my savings account to cover rent or bills, knowing that I have to start all over again with saving up to achieve my lifelong dream of volunteering abroad. It will happen though. I'm still young, and regardless, this will all be worth it in the end.
...Right?
I'm not just slaving away for a decorated piece of paper that will only serve as a framed piece of my soul right? Please tell me that this is all worth it, please. And if you know it's not, please just lie to me. I'm starting to lose sight of the whole purpose of forking over thousands of dollars for my education.
I am SO broke.
I make more money now than I ever have in my life, but I am more broke now than I've ever been in my life. WHERE DOES IT ALL GO??? Everyone was right; living in Hawai'i is horribly expensive. My monthly expenses are as follows:Rent: $500.00
Tuition: $500.00
Bills/Utilities: $150.00
Groceries: $300.00
Total: $1,450.00
Let's just say that, if I'm lucky, I make juuust enough to cover most of that.
How the HECK am I going to pay for school???
I only took six credits last semester, which meant my tuition was completely covered by the measly loan I was awarded for the year. However, I will be taking nine credits this next semester. So, although most of it will be covered by the loan, I will still have to pay off the remaining balance every month.
I only have ONE more week of break?!?!?!??
Are you kidding me? Break just started, and I am still recovering from the wrath of finals! That's Hawai'i for you though, they don't really have a winter over here, so it seems as though they decided a sufficient winter break would be foolish. At least the semester ends at the beginning of May...yay for yearlong summers!No no, nonono NO! I don't want to go back to school, I don't want to pay for my expensive tuition. I just, don't WANT to! I feel a temper tantrum coming on in 5, 4, 3, 2...
That's enough. I'm done. I got all my crying and whining out of my system, and I'm ready to be an adult again. Honestly, it's not luck that feeds me and pays my rent every month, it's purely the hard work I put into making sure my commission check is as high as it can be. It all feels futile at times when I have to clear out my savings account to cover rent or bills, knowing that I have to start all over again with saving up to achieve my lifelong dream of volunteering abroad. It will happen though. I'm still young, and regardless, this will all be worth it in the end.
...Right?
I'm not just slaving away for a decorated piece of paper that will only serve as a framed piece of my soul right? Please tell me that this is all worth it, please. And if you know it's not, please just lie to me. I'm starting to lose sight of the whole purpose of forking over thousands of dollars for my education.
Eyyyyyyy...
Regression at its Finest
Since my last post I went through a stage of prolonged self pity. Aside from my bouts of homesickness that left me crying in the middle of the night for my parents and my dog, my body has undergone some uncomfortable irritations that I am still dealing with right now. The main irritation has been the bug bites that seem to be magically appearing every morning on different parts of my body. Neither my boyfriend nor his brother have been getting bit as much as I have, and I was told it was because I "smell and taste sweet".
.....
I will stink myself to the core if that means I won't have to deal with this wretched mysterious night bugs anymore. Anyway, another irritation has been this stupid thing on my eye that I have to take antibiotics for.
Due to the humidity, I developed a sty that formed from a sweat gland being swollen on my left eyelid. Aside from looking and feeling hideous, I've been taking these giant horse pills that are supposed to fight it. I get this every summer, but this time in Hawaii, the humidity seems to be making it worse. It's not horribly uncomfortable so much as it is disgustingly hideous; the main discomfort comes from the antibiotics which have been causing me a lot of chest pain and nausea. I have four more days of having to take these, so hopefully by then I'll be feeling a little bit back to normal.
I do apologize for my lack of posting. I have had a pretty exhausting schedule that required me to rush around starting from 5am in the morning to get ready for school then rush to work and work until closing. Work has been pretty demanding, but I am happy to have this weekend and Monday off from work. I was starting to have dreams about work, and it has become rather unacceptable. For a while there I was worried about being behind in school because I had to miss a full week for work training, but after a lot of reading and writing, I think I am finally caught up...just in time to study for my midterm on Monday (already???) and my French exam on Friday.
Although this post has been a rather whiny one (but hopefully not as whiny as the last), I assure you that I do still feel very blessed to be able to have the opportunity to live here. It really is a beautiful place to live. I would like to share the beauty that I am basked in every day with this picture of a typical beautiful sunset on the beach.
.....
I will stink myself to the core if that means I won't have to deal with this wretched mysterious night bugs anymore. Anyway, another irritation has been this stupid thing on my eye that I have to take antibiotics for.
Due to the humidity, I developed a sty that formed from a sweat gland being swollen on my left eyelid. Aside from looking and feeling hideous, I've been taking these giant horse pills that are supposed to fight it. I get this every summer, but this time in Hawaii, the humidity seems to be making it worse. It's not horribly uncomfortable so much as it is disgustingly hideous; the main discomfort comes from the antibiotics which have been causing me a lot of chest pain and nausea. I have four more days of having to take these, so hopefully by then I'll be feeling a little bit back to normal.
I do apologize for my lack of posting. I have had a pretty exhausting schedule that required me to rush around starting from 5am in the morning to get ready for school then rush to work and work until closing. Work has been pretty demanding, but I am happy to have this weekend and Monday off from work. I was starting to have dreams about work, and it has become rather unacceptable. For a while there I was worried about being behind in school because I had to miss a full week for work training, but after a lot of reading and writing, I think I am finally caught up...just in time to study for my midterm on Monday (already???) and my French exam on Friday.
Although this post has been a rather whiny one (but hopefully not as whiny as the last), I assure you that I do still feel very blessed to be able to have the opportunity to live here. It really is a beautiful place to live. I would like to share the beauty that I am basked in every day with this picture of a typical beautiful sunset on the beach.
Captured on our walk around Waikiki. :)
I've decided from here on out that I will no longer be a whiny little baby in my posts. I went on an awesome tour last week and put together a cute little dresser with my boyfriend that I will be updating about later. Stay tuned for that. For now, I am going to head to the mall, find a nice hair stylist for both the boyfriend and myself (we need to be pampered badly), then study for my midterm. I hope you all have been having a wonderful time where ever you are. :)
EDIT (9:24 p.m.)
As a motivation to keep me in the groove of working out, I have decided to join in with a couple lovely ladies on the Christmas Dress Challenge started by Sarah. Her blog is so motivational, and I really admire someone with her strength an willpower. I found her through Mila at Free Bird Train --- another lovely blog about the simple joys of life (and she cooks!).
Anyway, here are the rules of the challenge:
EDIT (9:24 p.m.)
As a motivation to keep me in the groove of working out, I have decided to join in with a couple lovely ladies on the Christmas Dress Challenge started by Sarah. Her blog is so motivational, and I really admire someone with her strength an willpower. I found her through Mila at Free Bird Train --- another lovely blog about the simple joys of life (and she cooks!).
Anyway, here are the rules of the challenge:
- Buy or find a picture of a dress in a smaller size (the size you're aiming to reach by the end of the challenge) The idea is to buy the dress to use as motivation, but it's not required.
- On or before Sunday, Sept. 18th, make your first post with a picture of your dress, your starting size & weight and your goal size & weight. (I will link my post to yours, so let me know once you make your first post)
- Aim for a healthy caloric intake each day
- Exercise a minimum 3x a week
- Drink water (not soda, not diet soda, not energy drinks...etc...)
- Twice a month I will post an update on how I'm doing on this challenge. If you have decided to do the challenge with me, feel free to add your update in the comments.
I'm so excited to start this challenge, and I can't wait to wear this dress! I'm trying to make it into a size 2. Let the challenge begin! :D
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