I recently discovered and started following Audry over at the Don't Love Dare. Her blog is great; it's about getting over your ex and getting real with yourself, and she addresses all the issues and thoughts that most of us deal with and think about, but never really talk about. If you haven't subscribed to her yet, by all means, please leave right now and go subscribe to her (but then come right back to my blog and finish reading what I have to say because I really think it might benefit you now or in the future). Anyway, her latest post was about investments in relationships and investments in yourself. This reminded me of a little experiment I started when I started getting serious with my boyfriend.
As many of you may know, I am in a very happy and healthy relationship with the man of my dreams.
Oh, you didn't know? Well...
I am in a very happy and healthy relationship with the man of my dreams. We have been dating for over a year now, and every day I'm blown away by how happy I am with this guy. He is so good to me; he makes me laugh, and he's freakin' HOT! Now, before I deter any of you who may undergoing a case of Single Cynicism (I've been there, and the sad part is I still suffer from it, although really for me it's just "Cynicism"), I assure you that it has taken me YEARS of stupidly dating countless douche bags before I finally met my boyfriend.
Without fail, after every single relationship I always felt a sense of inevitable sadness accompanied with a huge sense of loss. After a breakup, I always spent a long time mourning over the loss of my time and emotions, and one of the things I hate most is when anything is wasted. So, after a summer of self-proclaimed celibacy, I fell for my boyfriend; only this time, I was more wary. After an empty series of rebound dating in response to having my heart ripped out of my chest and shattered into a million pieces by my first real boyfriend, I decided that I'm not going to risk feeling that kind of pain ever again because seriously, love can be the best feeling in the world, but also the absolute worst at the same time.
That was when I came up with the idea that I'm going to invest my money into this relationship.
"What? Money and love don't mix! Tina, you're so crazy and heartless!"
Come on, how many times after a breakup, do you find yourself thinking, "What did I even gain out of that relationship?" In my opinion, everything in life is an investment that will both cost you an arm and a leg, but also benefit you in numerous ways. This is something I have to remind myself every month as I shovel over hundreds of dollars to pay off my tuition, but hey, at least at the end of my education I actually get something out of it right?
My very own, fancy diploma to be framed and mounted on my wall for all to stare at!
Set aside a small amount of your own money to put in your savings for every day the two of you are together.
- That way, if the two of you ever end up getting married, you will have money saved up either for your wedding, your honeymoon, or a house (or really whatever you want).
- Or, should anything go wrong and you end up parting ways, at least you have the money to invest in yourself to get over your ex with a healthy getaway to reconnect with yourself. (Honeymoon for one anyone?)
---That's exactly what I'm doing right now, and I don't regret a single dollar. It's comforting to know that although I am investing our future together, I will still be safe and basically insured if (knock on wood) anything bad happens. I won't tell you how much money I have saved up so far, but we have been together for over a year so...let's just say I'm pretty well insured for whatever ends up happening in the future.
"But Tina, love isn't about investing in a safety net, it's about going all in with your faith and hoping for the best!"
I've gotten that response from a couple kids before, and I just stare back at them blankly and think, "Get outta here with your high hopes and sunny soul. Go frolick in a meadow of glittery Twilight love somewhere as I get real with my life. Come back to me when you've experienced real love that you can't live without only to have it completely wrenched out of your life, and you have to spend years piecing not only your heart, but your entire self back together. Maybe then we can talk about being smarter with our emotions."
Well, I don't know. Am I crazy? Am I too cautious? Is what I'm doing nothing but a giant contradiction and a slap in the face of love? Should I be more daring? I mean, I thought investing in a solid future that's not even solid was a pretty bold move. I thought investing in happiness was a pretty smart idea. I could be wrong.
Maybe I am crazy and heartless after all.